Divorce and the attendant anxiety

 Divorce is a substantial life changing event at many levels.  For many women in long term relationships, it is sometimes awakening to the possibility of living with considerably less monetary resources. Here is a fictitious story :

 A woman decided to part ways with her husband of many years.  Emotional upheaval aside, she had to contend with the reality of having to make tough financial decisions. As part of the divorce settlement she got custody of her three children, the couples’ two houses, one of which was a vacation home and some other assets.  Going through her finances, she realized that the amount of monthly expenses far exceeded her income.  Cutting some of the discretionary expenses would help, however would not be nearly enough. The next logical step would be sell the vacation house in the mountains.   The thought was at once unbearable to her. She became highly anxious as she pondered over her uncertain future.  As fear grew, more uncertainties came to mind. At some point it became so overwhelming and she was paralyzed by fear into making any decision at all.

The reason for reluctance is sometimes expressed as “I do not want to part with a house or a certain object”  however, the underlying cause can be vastly larger. It is the insecurity, the anxiety, the what if’s, the how’s?  When faced with large and intractable challenges,  the future appears to loom large like a vast unknown and that makes one anxious.   But my question is – is it really the case that it is the unknown that intimidates?  For the future is unknown 100% of the time not just today. We presume that the future will be a continuation of the past but it rarely is.  Difficult transition times in our lives force us to become aware of the fact that we live on the edge of the unknown “all of the time” and not just “some of the time”.  The fear of the unknown makes one feel restricted, visualize fewer options and one begins climbing the pyramid of anxiety. As one reaches higher levels on the pyramid of anxiety, one can become paralyzed into inaction and left feeling overwhelmed. 

Climbing the pyramid of anxiety takes many forms whether it’s worrying about children, jobs, home, health or just getting through the next day. What is important is to realize when you are on the path climbing up the pyramid. Once you know that you are on the pyramid, the challenge is to get off by focusing on the positives in your life, having faith in yourself, your capabilities, your family, the people around you.  Another ancient wisdom that can be a great tool for quelling anxiety is developing a sense of gratitude for the meaningful things that still exist and surround you.  This may appear to be an insurmountable task at first.  You could for example get started by writing down ten positive things that happened in your life in the last ninety days. The key here is to write them down. These could be as small as “I can set the thermostat where I like it to be.” 

 My goal is to help my clients not only deal with the financial challenges that accompany divorce but to help recognize and  resolve their sources of anxiety and help resume their path towards confidence and growth.  Please feel free to contact me with any specific challenges or questions that you are facing . I share my expertise through numerous public speaking engagements such as the upcoming workshop: Divorce 101: Preparing and understanding DRFA’s. (see details) . You  can also contact me by leaving your comments in the comment box below or by email at Suzanne.durbin@gvfinancial.com.

Georgia State Tax Credit

If you are interested in a way to support K-12 Georgia private education at no additional cost to you, then please read the information below.  For tax specific questions, please contact your tax advisor.   

The Georgia Legislature passed a bill (HB 1133) in 2008 that provides a dollar for dollar state income tax credit for donations to a qualified Student Scholarship Organization (SSO).  The donations are for private schools scholarship programs in Georgia and not a means to pay for your child’s tuition.  This program is limited to the first $50 million in donations in each calendar year. Funds are projected to run out in the next month.  

 The tax credits are limited to the following (state tax credit may not exceed state taxes owed):

 1.  Single individual or head of household–$1,000 or actual amount donated, whichever is less.

 2.  Married couple filing joint return–$2,500 or actual amount donated, whichever is less.

 3.  75 percent of corporation’s income tax liability or actual amount donated, whichever is less (only fully available to C-Corporations).

 In addition, your donation is deductable against your income on your federal tax return.

 Example – If you contribute $2,500, you get a $2,500 income tax credit for Georgia, and get deduct $2,500 on your Federal tax return as a charitable contribution. You DO NOT get an additional $2,500 charitable deduction on your state return. We recommend that you consult your accountant to confirm the specific tax consequences for your specific circumstances.

 If you are interested in making a donation – follow these steps:

1. Notify the SSO of your intent to make a donation.  If you would like the funds to go to a specific school verify that the SSO supports that school and will make the contributions on your behalf.  Not all SSO’s support all schools.  See the link below for a list of the qualified SSO’s currently in Georgia.

1. Use this link for qualified SSO’s:  SSO List

 Request Pre-Qualification:  Download Georgia form FORM_IT-QEE-TP1.  Once you have completed the form (including SSO Tax ID #), forward it to the Georgia Department of Revenue to pre-qualify your contribution to the SSO.   Since there is a $50 million cap on Education Expense Credits, all requests need to be approved each calendar year so that the cap is not exceeded. (Postmarked by November 1st)

 Approval Process:  The Georgia Department of Revenue will review your form to ensure that the $50 million yearly cap has not been exceeded.  Then they will return your form by mail.  Once you receive approval, you can make your donation to the SSO.

 Make a Contribution:  Upon receipt of approval, you have up to 30 days for the SSO to receive your donation.  The SSO must make your contribution to the qualifying institution by December 31^st.  Mail your donation along with a copy of the IT-QEE-TP1 form and a request for the institution you wish to receive the donation (some SSO’s have specific institutions they support).

 Receive Tax Credit:  Once your donation has been received, the SSO will send you the confirmation form IT-QEE-SSO1 .  You will need to submit this form and the FORM_IT-QEE-TP2 form with your state tax return in order to claim the Education Expense Credit. 

More detailed instruction are printed on the forms.

Visit the official Department of Education Page concerning the Georgia Tax Credit for Private School Costs and Scholarship Donations      or

email or call your GV Advisor at 770-295-5600 to discuss or assist you with this great opportunity!