All You Have To Do Is Notice

The opportunity is right before your eyes.

Every day, the world offers each of us multiple chances to make a positive difference in the lives of those around us. We can compliment a work colleague for a job well done. We can check in on a friend who has been struggling. We can make a small charitable donation. We can leave our server a little larger tip.

It doesn’t cost much to make a difference. Just a little investment of time and money, and the payoff is huge. It feels great to make a positive difference.

So, why don’t we do it more often? Because we are so busy running from place to place, so busy doing our to do’s, that we simply don’t notice the opportunity to connect, the chance to help.

Slow down. Take a breath. Pause and notice the world around you. Every day, look for the chance to make that positive difference. When you notice it, seize the opportunity. Add a little happiness to your life.

What can you do to notice the opportunity?

Happiness Takes Work

I first ran across the phrase “Happiness takes work” in Dennis Prager’s 1998 book, Happiness is a Serious Problem, and knew I found a nugget of wisdom.

We all want to be happy.  Aristotle went so far as to say, ““Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Yet, all too often we look for happiness in all the wrong places. We somehow believe that pursuing fame, wealth, and pleasure will lead to happiness.  As Albert Brooks points out in his recent New York Times op-ed, Love People, Not Pleasure, “We look for these things to fill an inner emptiness. They may bring a brief satisfaction, but it never lasts, and it is never enough. And so we crave more.”

Happiness is built on the foundation of a stable lifestyle, but in what Brooks might concur is part of “Mother Nature’s cruel hoax,” an increase in lifestyle beyond that modest level does not generate more happiness.  Happiness stems from the quality of our closest relationships, our ability to engage in activities that ignite our passions, and from capturing the ever-present opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others.

Pursuing the intrinsic goals that bring us happiness is difficult, especially in a culture that all too often mistakenly defines personal success – and happiness – in terms of wealth, fame, and pleasure.  Inside, we know wealth, fame, and pleasure are false idols, yet it is hard to swim against the cultural tide of insanity.

As Brooks notes, it takes “a great deal of reflection and spiritual hard work” to resist these cultural currents and to focus your attention on what will bring you meaning, satisfaction, and a deep feeling of joy.  It requires each of us to build into our lives regularly scheduled times to pause and reflect, and to remind ourselves of what really matters to us.

Happiness takes work.

Is the American Dream Leading You Astray?

When I graduated 30 years ago, my plan was to pursue the “American Dream.” I would work hard and earn enough money to own my home, drive a nice car, send my kids to college, enjoy wonderful vacations, and have enough money to retire comfortably.

I did it. I checked all the boxes: home, car, college, vacation, money for retirement.

And, then in my 50s, I started to wonder, ”Is this all there is? Is life really just about the things money can buy?”

Of course not. Virtually all of us value our closest relationships more than our stuff. We understand the joy of helping someone else often trumps the pleasure of a shiny new purchase. We love engaging in activities that fuel our passions and grab our attention.

Our challenge is that the pursuit of the American Dream often leads us astray. Our pursuit of more money, so we can buy more stuff, takes us away from what really matters to us.

We know this, yet we continue to chase the Dream. Why? Because we get a short-term happiness burst when we buy the new thing. It feels good, but when the pleasure quickly fades,  we are left longing for more, so we look for another hit, the next luxury purchase.

What is the answer? Regularly remind yourself about what provides you lasting satisfaction, and focus your attention on the pursuit of those experiences.

Don’t let the American Dream lead you astray.

Happy Choices

We don’t get the life we want. We get the life we manage to create, and we create our lives through the choices we make.

It is not always easy to make the right choices.  We live in a culture that tells us the path to happiness is filled with luxury cars, luxury homes, and luxury experiences.  Somehow the things we purchase will give us the happiness we desire.

Yet, if we pause, we quickly realize how insane that premise is.  We know the pleasure of owning a new car or enjoying a luxury vacation is fleeting.

Real happiness comes from having at least a handful of close intimate relationships. It comes from engaging in high-challenge, high-skill activities that demand our complete attention.  And it comes from the deep satisfaction we feel by making a positive difference in the lives of others.

What are happy choices? Those that support close relationships, engaging activities, and the opportunity to make a positive difference.

Our happy choices might include living in smaller homes with shorter commutes that allow us to spend more time with our family.  They might include giving less lavish holiday gifts in order to free up funds for making a positive difference in the world around us. Maybe it means choosing to pursue a new job or business opportunity that will allow us to more frequently engage our Signature Talents.

Each of us must decide for ourselves what choices are right for us.

What are your happy choices?

Building Confidence

True happiness comes from taking responsibility for the things we can control and learning to embrace even the unpleasant things we cannot control.

We live in a world where many of us feel nervous about the future. We worry about our children’s ability to find satisfying jobs, the quality of our health care system, our country’s staggering deficits and global warming. All too often, we focus our attention on difficult life realities, things we don’t like, but have little or no control over, rather than problems, which we can address.

When we focus on what we can’t control, our confidence diminishes because we know – or we learn the hard way – we can’t impact the outcome.

The key is to focus on what we can control. Only our child can determine which job provides the right combination of money, engagement, and meaning.  We can, however, use our network, wisdom and talents to help our children find that satisfying job.

We can’t change the health care system, but we can take steps to lead a healthier lifestyle.

We can’t reduce the deficit, but we can build a diversified portfolio to protect us against the higher inflation our enormous deficits might bring.

When we focus on what we can control, we feel empowered. Our confidence rises and our happiness builds.

What are you focusing on?

Sometimes The Answer Is Money

“Old age ain’t no place for sissies,” said Bette Davis, who lived to age 81.  Anyone who has reached old age or who has witnessed their parents age understands the truth of those words.

The harsh reality is that as we suffer the losses that comes with aging, our money is often worthless. Money can’t ensure we won’t contract a serious illness, insulate us from the loss of lifetime friends, or make our bodies function like they used to.

We wish it could, but it can’t.

Sometimes, however, the answer is money. If we are having a hard time driving at night and don’t want to be trapped at home, we can take a cab. If we want to spend some quality time with our children and grandchildren, we can pay for a family vacation. If we want to see an out-of-town friend but have a hard time traveling, we can pay for our friend’s airline ticket to come visit us.

All too often, money can’t solve our problems. But when it can, we shouldn’t hesitate to use it.

Tidal Wave of Pessimism

Are you tired of the tidal wave of pessimism? The relentless drumbeat of comments about what is wrong with scant attention paid to what is right?

I understand why the media focuses on the negative – it works.  It attracts viewers and readers, and drives advertising dollars.

The problem is it doesn’t work for our wellbeing.  Exposure to negativity can leave us feeling discouraged, tired or afraid, making it far tougher to live a full and abundant life.  Relationships are harder to create and nurture when we are discouraged.  Our creativity can vanish when we are tired.  Our ability to give our time, talents and treasure to help the world around us often succumbs to our fears about the future.

Turn it off.  Refocus your time and attention on experiences that leave you feeling empowered and encouraged. Take a walk with your spouse. Throw a ball with your child.  Volunteer your time helping others. Take a nap. Read words that inspire you to reach for your dreams.

You have a choice about what to feed your soul. And just like what we choose to eat affects our physical health, what we choose to feed our soul affects our mental and emotional health.

What are you going to choose?

Thank You, Readers!

 

This month we’re celebrating our first year of David’s Corner, and we couldn’t have done it without you!  In case you missed it, here’s a link to one of David’s most popular blogs from the past year, Thomas Jefferson Was Wrong.  We also want to share this personal message of thanks from David:

Dear Reader,

Thank you for your support of my first year as a blogger. Your comments have helped me shape this shared journey of discovery and quest for greater happiness. My team and I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I do writing them. As this blog begins its second year, my goal is to expand readership so we can share our message about wealth and happiness with others.  If you find one of my blogposts helpful or thought-provoking, I hope you will take a moment to share it with your friends and family by using the share button or by simply forwarding the email to them.

I have especially loved hearing from readers; your thoughtful responses have supported and sometimes challenged me, and I truly appreciate you sharing your always welcome and sometimes differing perspective. On behalf of all my colleagues, thank you for being a part of the GV Community.  I look forward to continuing to share life’s adventure as seen from “David’s Corner” into the year ahead.

Sincerely,

David Geller

David@gvfinancial.com

The Blessing of the Long Line

Do you hate waiting in line?  When confronted with a long line, do you look for a quicker route? If that is not possible, do you start to think of how the process could be more efficient to make the line move faster? Does your blood pressure start to rise?

And as you get agitated, does the line move any faster?

We live in a world that offers us scant opportunity to pause.  We are encouraged to fit in as much as we can into every waking moment. And as we run from appointment to appointment, activity to activity, we rarely give ourselves the time and space to notice the beauty and abundance in the world around us.

So, next time you are stuck in a long line, take a deep breath.  Remind yourself that today’s long line is a minor inconvenience soon to be forgotten.  Open your eyes and look for the small miracles that surround us all. Notice the beauty of a sunny day or a stormy afternoon.  Observe the young child amusing herself.  Cultivate a sense of compassion for the harried service worker before your eyes.

And be thankful for the opportunity to pause.

Is There A Burning Bush In Your Living Room?

Can you predict the future?  Of course not, unless you happen to have a burning bush in your living room that allows you to communicate directly with God.

When we pause for a moment and think rationally about it, we all know neither we nor anyone else can predict the future.  Yet, we repeatedly get caught up in making prognostications about what will happen regarding the economy, the likelihood of war in the Middle East, or America’s chances of defaulting on its debt.

Why do we continue to take part in this nonsense?  Some of us do it because we are anxious.   Making a prediction about the unpredictable future gives us a sense of control, something we badly crave, and relieves our anxiety.  It is comforting to imagine that we know what is going to happen so we can take steps today to protect ourselves against potential dangers.

The problem with this game of make-believe is that we don’t know what the future holds, and the actions we take today can end up backfiring on us when the future turns out to be different than we predicted.

So, if we cannot predict the future, what can we do to protect ourselves and manage our anxieties?

• From an investment perspective, we can build diversified portfolio’s to protect ourselves against a wide variety of risks, including inflation, deflation, global instability and sovereign debt defaults.
• From an emotional perspective, we can find ways to live with uncertainty.  We can acknowledge we are always on the edge of the unknown.  To keep our fears about plunging off this cliff from leading us back to self-delusion, we must become better acquainted with and learn to rely upon our faith – the people and things that give us comfort as we face an unpredictable future.  

In scary times, my faith in God sustains my confidence in a bright future.  I also derive comfort and strength from good relationships with my family and friends; being blessed with such good relationships allows my worries to subside so I can accept that the future is unknown and uncontrollable, but not something to fear.

Why not take an hour to Identify what you have faith in as you face an uncertain future?  That, or keep pretending you have a burning bush in your living room.